Recently, I attended my 50th high school reunion, accompanied by my long-time friend and fellow high school flutist, whom I met on the very first day of band camp. At the reunion, we gathered at a table with two more flutists, a French horn player, and a baritone player. A clarinetist stopped by, and at one point, we were even joined by the star of our high school musical, “Maria” from The Sound of Music!

So many of you have similar stories of how meaningful your music community has been to you. Participation in bands, orchestras, and choirs helps students and adults form lasting connections that can last a lifetime. Teachers who work together to teach music can also form long-lasting friendships.

Music ensembles naturally create conditions for meaningful connections. These connections are created through relationships, a sense of purpose, and engagement with something larger than ourselves. Music ensembles offer all of that, and as an added benefit, they connect our students to the profound, powerful, and life-enhancing gift of music. 

“Ah, music,” he said, wiping his eyes. “A magic beyond all we do here!”
– Albus Dumbledore

Positive psychology identifies key factors that contribute to our happiness and well-being and offers research-backed tools to help individuals increase their happiness levels. In a landmark positive psychology study, Ed Diener and Martin Seligman (2002) found that the happiest people had strong social relationships with meaningful connections. Meaningful relationships are an essential part of our happiness.

Our innately connection-affirming music groups provide the perfect setting for modeling and teaching strategies for raising connection and happiness levels.

Raising happiness levels is critical to our students’ success. In a meta-analysis of 225 academic studies, researchers found that happy individuals are, on average, 31% more productive, and their creativity is three times greater than those who are less happy (Lyubomirsky et al., 2005). Imagine how amazing it would be if we could help our students become 31% more productive and 3 times more creative! The good news is that research shows we can aim to achieve this by using researched positive psychology tools that will make our students happier.

Nurturing Connection

In Love 2.0: Finding Happiness and Health in Moments of Connection, Barbara Fredrickson explores how tiny moments of positive connection are crucial to our health, success, and well-being. She refers to these brief emotions as micro-moments of connection.

Her research explores how these short but impactful positive emotions can broaden individuals’ thinking, build long-term resources, and increase happiness levels. 

Brief moments of connection with others, such as a smile, a glance, a kind word, or a shared joke, can activate the brain’s reward system, leading to measurable increases in oxytocin, fostering trust, and strengthening our sense of belonging, 

Below are some ways to create these small, impactful micro-moments of connection in our music classrooms.

A Kind Word: 

“Give honest and sincere appreciation.” 
– Dale Carnegie from How to Win Friends and Influence People

A sincere compliment or encouraging word, such as “I love your energy,”’ can create a small but meaningful connection and remind you that someone cares about you.

• Make Compliments Specific

Years of research have found that general compliments are less effective at improving relationships or boosting self-esteem. In contrast, specific compliments are perceived as more sincere and meaningful, making a more significant impact.

“Thank you for being a curious, dedicated educator who is taking their valuable time to read this article!”
– Peggy Rakas

• Praise Effort, Not Talent

Research by Mueller and Dweck (1998) encourages teachers to praise effort and process and to resist praising talent. In this influential study, students were divided into two groups and given a test.

After completing the first test, one group was praised for their talent, while the other was praised for their effort.

The teachers then asked each student to choose between an easy or more challenging option for the second test. 

• 97% of the students praised for their effort chose the more difficult test.
• 67% of those praised for their talent chose the easier test.

All the students were then asked to take a third test of equal difficulty to the first.

• Students praised for their effort increased their grades by 30%.
• Those praised for their talent scored 20% lower than they had initially.

This study suggests that when a teacher compliments a student’s talent, the student may think, “You value me because I’m talented, so I better not do anything that might challenge that.” 

However, focusing on effort reinforces that growth is about the process, not just innate talent, and encourages students to take on challenges. 

• Call Students by Name:

“Remember that a person’s name is, to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”  
– Dale Carnegie

Ten years after I graduated from Bowling Green State University, I ran into my college band director, Mark Kelly, at the Ohio Music Educators Conference. After all those years, he walked up to me, smiled, and said, “Margaret Ann Rakas!” I was completely floored! Not only did he remember me, but he remembered my middle name—and that I was actually Margaret, not just Peggy (a nickname all my friends and family call me). I was deeply touched and felt an overwhelming appreciation for Mr. Kelly.

Then, twenty years later, it hit me: 

I had a nametag on! 😳

I had spent years thinking Mr. Kelly was truly amazing. And, in many ways, he was—but remembering my name at that conference wasn’t one of them. Still, I’ll always treasure the moment when he called me by name and greeted me with warmth and a big smile.

Research shows that we feel a stronger sense of connection when we’re personally acknowledged—whether through a smile, eye contact, or someone using our name. These small moments of recognition create a sense of shared appreciation, and I certainly felt that connection when Mr. Kelly greeted me by name.

• A Shared Smile: 

“A smile is a free gift, and it’s the best way to make people feel at ease.”
– Dale Carnegie

There is much research to support that teachers who smile create a welcoming and approachable atmosphere, making students feel more comfortable in the classroom. And smiles are contagious. Research by Hatfield, Cacioppo, and Rapson (1994) explores the concept of emotional contagion—the phenomenon where emotions, including happiness, can spread between people. Smiling at others is often met with a smile in return, demonstrating how emotions like happiness can be contagious.

“You’re never fully dressed without a smile.” 
– from Annie

• Laughter:

Humor is a natural connector. A shared laugh over a joke, a silly moment, or a funny observation can break down barriers and make people feel relaxed and comfortable. Research by Romero and Cruthird, 2007, found that humor in the workplace supports greater employee satisfaction and happiness, improves team dynamics, and simply makes work environments more fun.

If you are lucky enough to be amazingly funny, feel free to share your humor as much as possible. However, if you need some humorous inspiration, you can find my collection of funny posters for the music room here.😉

• Connect with Students Before and After Class:

While our students may not always experience positive relationships at home, we can provide them with a welcoming, supportive space—what might be considered the musical version of the “Cheers Bar.” A place “where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came.”

Aim to build that sense of home for your students: greet them at the door, create a small moment of connection, and let them know “you’re glad they came,” and they will reward you beyond measure. 🎶

NO ONE EVER SAID – I WISH I HAD NOT LEARNED TO LOVE MUSIC!

Being a music educator is truly one of the best professions on Earth. We enrich our students’ lives through lifelong, meaningful social connections while sharing the awe-inspiring benefits of music. And both students and teachers get to have fun!

I hope these ideas help both you and your students increase your moments of connection, enhancing your happiness and success. And, when you go to your next high school reunion, may you have a fabulous time connecting with your fellow musicians at the music table!

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but
people will never forget how you made them feel.”
– Maya Angelou

Book links to Brian Johnson’s Philosopher’s Notes used with permission.

Please feel free to visit TeachingPositivity.org for additional positive psychology resources.

If you have any questions or would like to share your thoughts, don’t hesitate to reach out to peggyrakas@gmail.com —I’d be happy to hear from you!